Enjoy!

The idea that men are drawn to mean women is a topic that often sparks curiosity and debate. Popular culture frequently portrays the “mean girl” or the “bad girl” as irresistibly attractive to men. While this trope can be compelling, there are specific reasons why some men might be drawn to women who exhibit traits associated with being mean. In this blog post, we’ll explore why men might be attracted to mean women, focusing on three key aspects: high standards, strong boundaries, and the presence of other men.

Women with High Standards

One of the main reasons men might be attracted to mean women is that these women often have high standards. They know what they want and are not afraid to demand it. This sense of certainty and confidence can be incredibly appealing.

The Allure of Quality: High standards often indicate that a woman values herself and her time. Men may be drawn to this because it suggests that if she chooses to spend time with them, they must be special or of high quality themselves. It’s a form of validation.

The Challenge Factor: When a woman has high standards, it creates a challenge. Men who enjoy the thrill of the chase might find this exciting and stimulating. They see winning her over as a significant accomplishment, which can be very appealing.

Example: Have you ever seen a woman who bends over backward and is so nice to a man? Perhaps you have been the nice girl to a man. In my observation, even if a man likes the nice girl who does everything for him, he loses interest quickly and moves on to the next woman. 

Or if the toxic men will use and abuse these women sadly. These men take advantage of these nice women while chasing the “mean” women. Being so nice just sets you up to be used and abused. This is explored in the book The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel. 

I am not saying that you should be mean and rude, but not to go running after a man trying to please him. Focus on yourself and your standards and expectations. A “mean” woman is just a woman who is in her divine femininity, especially one who embraces her dark feminine energy.

Let’s say you are going on a date and the guy suggests a walking date. A “mean” woman will decline this date if this is truly not the type of date she wants. I don’t know about you but a walking date is not a date, that’s just exercise. 

If a man can spend $1000 on some sneakers or to customise his car. Then he can spend $100 on a date. A man will choose what he spends his money on based on its perceived value. As a woman, you should value yourself so that others value you.

Women with Strong Boundaries

Strong boundaries are another trait often associated with mean women. These women are clear about their limits and are not afraid to enforce them. This assertiveness can be highly attractive.

Respect and Admiration: Men often respect women who set and maintain strong boundaries. It shows that she respects herself and demands respect from others. This can lead to admiration and attraction.

The Need for Stability: Strong boundaries can provide a sense of stability and clarity in a relationship. Men might be drawn to this because it eliminates ambiguity and fosters a more straightforward interaction. They know where they stand and what is expected of them.

Example: Boundaries and standards are linked together. A woman with high standards also has strong boundaries. A boundary could be that you do not take calls late at night. A nice girl would take calls from a man at any time of the day to not upset him thinking he will be happy that she is always answering his call.

However, this gets old really fast and men like that are using you and your time only for them to stop contacting you because they found someone else who has stronger boundaries than you.

Women Who Have Other Men

The presence of other men in a woman’s life can also make her more attractive. This dynamic can introduce elements of competition and perceived value.

Social Proof: When a woman is surrounded by other men, it can serve as social proof of her desirability. If others find her attractive, it reinforces her appeal. This can create a sense of urgency and competition, which some men find irresistible.

The Scarcity Principle: Psychologically, people often place a higher value on things that are perceived as scarce. If a woman is pursued by multiple men, it can create a sense of scarcity, making her seem more valuable and desirable.

Example: When you watch shows set in earlier centuries like Bridgerton you notice the women are pursued and courted by various men. When a man takes a liking to a particular woman suddenly all the other men find her attractive and are fighting for her attention. It is quite fascinating! 

This is why having other men around is great and makes you more desirable. Of course, some men might not be able to handle it and will fall away which is okay. Because those men generally are not the ones you want anyway. If a man really wants you he will make all the effort to court you and to be exclusive with you. As in Bridgerton, having multiple suitors does not mean you are intimate with them. You might not even kiss any of them! 

It is a good idea not to put all your eggs in one basket in the beginning stage of dating. Not only because of the competition but when you focus only on one man chances are you end up smothering them. Being too available, thinking about him all the time, texting or calling too much. This is a definite turn-off for a masculine man who prefers to chase and lead the relationship.

The Underlying Dynamics

While the reasons outlined above provide insight into why men might be drawn to mean women, it’s important to understand the underlying dynamics at play.

Confidence and Self-Worth: Mean women often exude a high level of confidence and self-worth. Confidence is universally attractive because it signals a person who is comfortable in their own skin and capable of handling life’s challenges.

Emotional Independence: Women who are perceived as mean often exhibit a level of emotional independence. They do not rely on others for validation and are content with themselves. This can be attractive to men who value independence and strength.

The Thrill of the Chase: The excitement of pursuing someone who is hard to get can be intoxicating. The highs and lows of this pursuit can create an adrenaline rush that some men find addictive. However, this can also lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic if the chase becomes the primary focus.

The Realities of the Relationship

Having high standards, strong boundaries, and competition from other men are all great when dating. Being a mean woman, however, does not mean that you are evil or unkind. To have a healthy relationship mutual respect and emotional availability are needed for long-lasting success. 

I will leave it here and say embrace your “mean” woman yet respectful era today!

Let me know in the comments if you find that men do like mean women.